Love your job? PHLBBBT!

Making money the conventional way—getting up at zero-dark-thirty, finding something to wear that no one will laugh at, getting in the car and driving to some tired-out place of business only to be hassled all day long by people whose needs are supposedly greater than yours such that you don’t get your own work done so you have to stay late so you can’t run the errands you were planning to run so that you won’t have to run them during your valuable weekend time for a change—is so 19th century textile-industry old! 

Yes, some companies allow their employees to telecommute and you could be one of the lucky ones.  I’m one of those lucky ones and I’m still miserable and ungrateful.  Not only because I’m mentally burned out but because it’s not total freedom.  You’re still doing someone else’s work and the boss is still looking over your shoulder.  You still have to bust your butt for a good year-end review so you maybe can get a miniscule salary increase, keep getting healthcare benefits, keep contributing to your 401K, and keep getting any money left over from all that in the form of a paycheck. 

And the more time you spend in bondage to the boss, the more you almost begin to think you could ditch it all for one of those internet multiple streams of income-making schemes—Paid Surveys, Ultimate Wealth Package, Plug-in Profit Site, Automated Millions, Blogging to the Bank, EDC Gold, Orovo, The 7 Figure Code, Profit Monster, Project Black Mask…  Most of their sites are the same, color- and content-wise—one long page yelling at you in yellow and red (don’t they know red incites anger, not acquiescence?) with the occasional picture of a box of software that’s not really a box of software.  But you’re not nuts—you’re sane, you’re savvy, you’re sensible and wise to the ways of the scam artist—so you dare not go there.   

Then you think maybe you’ll make something people can’t live without and sell it online.  But what, exactly, would you make?  And you’ve heard that way to go is a long, hard, rocky, winding road if you want to make money soon, not in another lifetime.  Well, anyway, your lap’s empty and waiting for a hot opportunity to drop into it.  And you have a bag packed in the event a talent scout calls and needs you to relocate to Successville immediately.  But mostly you’re reasonable, so you begin to think of going back to school.  And two seconds after you do, you realize that your quality of life would be zero if you were to try to fit even a light school schedule into your already packed life schedule. 

So what can you do, where can you go to find a fun, fulfilling, exciting way to make a living if you’re not drop-dead gorgeous or rocket-scientist brilliant?  And what fool made up that rule in the first place?  The one that says you need money to live here?  That’s a scam in itself.  I was never told about that rule of the game of life before coming to Earth.  Maybe I would have chosen a different planet.  Or maybe I would’ve stayed “home,” in the nothingness of “out there” where all the creative writing and musical hooks are…  Hey Marci!



Marci “The Slash” Alboher, bio:

“Why Settle for Just One Line of Work?” BusinessWeek interviews Marci:

“The Neurophysiology of Light…”  The effect colors have on us:

4 responses to “Love your job? PHLBBBT!

  1. It’s all good now, thanks to you–I’ve just finished having a fiesta over at your place! I hadn’t visited your site in awhile and it was like a playgound when I got there! So much to do, so much to see! So now you’ve got a bunch of comments to check out…and I’m thinking of going back to tackle the short people! :-D

  2. I know you’re long gone from this topic and mood, but it put me in mind of a character in Sling Blade that I always thought got short shrift as a modern American hero: J T Walsh’s Charles Bushman, a man with a mission to haul his blackboard-scrape squealing chair across any and all asylum chill-rooms to regale the mass sundries with the very notion that underscores your “And what fool made up that rule in the first place?” Charles, who wonders aloud what the more polite Deepak Choprans/Julia Camerons/WWRDo-ers wannabes among us (yes, we all jump on and jump off and recover and relapse in babyback rib unison) only think to ourselves: why folks who seem completely unworthy of what they have get what they get? I know: it’s a go there only at your own risk proposition – ain’t no lifeguards out in them waters. I’m diggin’ the vibe.

  3. Paschal: No, well, yes, I did have to skim it to refresh my memory. And I say! Charles Bushman! That is so perfect. You are so many light years ahead of my program. Would you please go to and enter an Oscar-winning description of Charles Bushman??? Yes, I’m giving you homework. Because your brain is bustling, your IQ spilleth over, and I know for a fact that you’re a trooper, you’re game, you’re a Texas saint, you with your succulent babyback rib words. Deadline is 12/21/2012.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.