The ticking is unnerving. The half-hourly and hourly chiming is alarming. And in between the tiny tocks we’re supposed to stuff our biggie-sized days. The work, the e-mails, the relationships, the exercising, the bill-paying, the errands, the cooking, the cleaning, the sleeping, the playing, the writing…
Time and I have been at war for over twenty years, and in all that time I’ve not been able to, or have subconsciously not wanted to, put my finger on what it is that I don’t get about Time. Does some sick part of me enjoy always feeling rushed, pushed, constricted, inconvenienced? Or is it my excuse for not finishing what I start, for not being able to help out someone or some cause? Are Time and I really in cahoots? Do I hang with Time because it makes me look good, because against its backdrop of futility I work overtime regardless and begin to look a little like an amazing time-worn martyr worthy of wonder and praise?
In the moments that I’ve said I want to better understand the concept of time in hope of being able to relax about it, I’ve naturally tended toward the ambiguity of the spiritual realm. This means only that I’ve been too lazy to stir my brain cells to buck up for a dive into the realm of science. Spiritual is easier, is based on and at the core of one’s own internal feedback system which immediately lets us know what to us is real or not, true or not. There is no hypothesizing or deductive reasoning involved. It either feels right and true, or it doesn’t, and the idea that “all we have is now” rings true for me.
And *Bonus!* it’s one spiritual theme that’s also 100% logical at a glance, minimal brain cells required! The past is gone and the future is nothing yet which leaves us with only one thing we can be sure about: this very moment we’re alive and typing this or reading this. I could drop dead in the middle of the next sentence. That’s not morbid, that’s a fact. Makes me feel like I should really pay attention to the moment, really appreciate it and make the most of it. And that’s what happens when we allow it.
We’ve all had the experience of becoming lost in the moment, utterly absorbed in a task, then looking up at the clock thinking hours had passed when only a few minutes had passed. To address the rude thing that jolts us out of that blissful place and into a panic-stricken clock search would be to go off on a long and tortuous tangent. Suffice it to say that time can on occasion seem like it’s so gracious as to stand still for us, as to allow us what seems like an eternity to enjoy an activity.
So we’re onto something here, and yeah-yeah we’ll work on that, but facts is facts. Until we become enlightened spiritual gurus and experience the bliss of this moment in all our moments, what do we do with the moments we aren’t absorbed in or relaxed enough to appreciate? What about the moments that give us the feeling of getting yanked from appointment to emergency, from squeaking wheel to screaming kid, from frying pan to fire? When we’re in a place that feels more practical than spiritual, does the practicality of science have something for us that would soothe our minds until our souls can hear the sound of Om above the din of daily clamor?
I’m feeling a certain readiness, a willingness to put my brain through some scientific paces, mostly because I truly am looking for an answer to the previous question and partly to see if I can still knuckle down to something like that. But that’ll be for next time. Stay tuned for Part II…
In the meantime…
How’s your relationship with Time? Do you two get along just fine? Or do you fight like colors that clash?
Do you get done what you want and/or need to get done? If not, how do you make peace with, or reconcile that?